Her Defender (MacLachlan Security Group Book 2) Read online

  Her sister was quiet on the walk over, and she looked more like she was heading to the electric chair than to lunch with her parents.

  Not exactly a bad comparison...

  Janie wasn’t looking forward to it either, but she’d gotten very good at masking her emotions and projecting what she wanted others to see. She kept her head up and walked with purpose, not rushing but not dragging either.

  They arrived to find Nancy and her father already seated. Her father looked worried and Nancy just looked appalled and furious. Janie almost expected her head to explode while they watched.

  “Hello,” Janie said, taking off her jacket and draping it over her chair before she sat down. “Did you have any trouble finding the place?”

  “Not at all,” her father replied, reading over the menu.

  “Makenna,” Nancy said, tilting her head to one side and raising an eyebrow. “Do you have anything you want to say to me?”

  Makenna looked at Janie and then back at her mother, clearly at a loss. Janie reached for her hand under the table and gave it a quick squeeze.

  “I think there’s a lot we need to talk about,” Janie said, opening her own menu. “Why don’t we order first?”

  Nancy glared at her as if she’d just suggested they all strip down and take a stroll through Central Park naked.

  “Forgive me for being concerned that my daughter disappeared without a word in the middle of this Godless city. I think I’m entitled to an explanation.”

  “Nancy, let’s just order. Janie has to get back to work in an hour,” her father said, still examining the menu as if it held the secret of eternal youth.

  “Oh, yes. Whatever’s best for Janie,” Nancy sneered. Janie rolled her eyes. As if anyone had ever considered what was best for her.

  After a few moments of chilly silence, the waitress arrived and took their order. She must have sensed the tension because she retreated quickly and didn’t bother to come back to check on them until their food was ready.

  “So, can we talk about it now?” Nancy said sarcastically.

  Janie looked at Makenna and gave her a small nod of encouragement.

  “Mom,” Makenna began, taking a deep breath to steady herself. “I don’t think I want to be a model.”

  “Why not?” her father asked, taking a bite of his reuben.

  “What do you mean you don’t want to be a model?” Nancy said, talking over him.

  “I just… don’t like it.” Makenna shrugged. “You have to sit for hours for hair and makeup and then the lights are so bright and the photographer is always telling you to turn this way or look over there. It’s… awkward and embarrassing.”

  “Oh, so you’re going to pass up this amazing opportunity because it’s a little uncomfortable?” Nancy said, disgusted. “I have news for you, little girl, life is seldom comfortable. Do you think being pregnant was comfortable? Do you think giving birth is comfortable?”

  “And those were your choices, Nancy,” Janie said evenly. “Not everyone has to make the same choices.”

  “I see. So this was your idea,” Nancy said acidly.

  “I had nothing to do with this,” Janie said, shaking her head.

  “Of course not.” Nancy scoffed. “Everything was fine until we came here and you got a hold of my daughter. Probably filled her head with all your ridiculous ideas about being young and single and free. Did you tell her some of your fun stories about drinking and whoring around?”

  “Nancy…” her father said, exasperated. Just that, nothing more.

  “Of course. At dinner the other night, with all of you there. Don’t you remember?” Janie asked sweetly. “Couldn’t have been any other time since that’s the first time I’ve seen her since you drove me out of the house five years ago.”

  Janie took a sip of her water to steady her nerves, keeping her expression blank.

  “Well, I can’t imagine that my daughter, who has been nothing but obedient and well-behaved her whole life would suddenly turn rebellious without some sort of bad influence.”

  “Jesus, will you listen to yourself?” Janie laughed. “‘Obedient and well-behaved.’ You make her sound like a damn poodle, not a person.”

  “I suppose those terms would be offensive to someone like you,” Nancy replied, glaring at her.

  “Mom, stop,” Makenna said. She was surprisingly calm and forceful. Nancy’s head actually snapped back as if she’d been struck. She blinked at her daughter and her mouth opened in surprise.

  “Janie had nothing to do with my decision,” Makenna went on. “And it is my decision. I’m not a child and I don’t need you making all of my choices for me. I don’t want to model and that’s the end of it.”

  “Oh, really?” Nancy hissed. “And what exactly are you going to do with yourself? You have no degree, no experience and no money. Your only options are to model or marry rich, and considering you’re so picky when it comes to men, I doubt that’s a viable option.”

  “I think that’s enough,” her father said, shaking his head and rubbing the back of his neck.

  “It certainly is,” Nancy spat. “Enough of this nonsense. You’ll come back to the hotel with us and we’ll talk this over until you come to your senses.”

  “Meaning you’ll browbeat her until she does what you want her to do, nevermind if it’s what she wants,” Janie interjected.

  “Stay out of this. This is family business,” Nancy snarled.

  “As much as we’d both like to forget, Nancy, I am in fact a part of this family. I was part of this family before you were, in fact. Kenna is my sister and if she doesn’t want to go with you, she doesn’t have to,” Janie said, sipping her water again.

  “I don’t?” Makenna whispered.

  “No,” Janie said, saying a silent prayer that Angel wouldn’t kill her for making this decision without consulting her. “You can stay with me. As long as you want.”

  “Out of the question,” Nancy hissed.

  “And what will you do about it, Nancy?” Janie asked calmly. “She’s twenty one years old. You can’t report her as a runaway. And I’m certainly not kidnapping her.”

  Nancy stared at her, eyes narrowed, nostrils flaring, furious in the face of defeat. Janie could practically see the steam coming out of her ears as she reached for something to say.

  “You selfish, ungrateful little bitch,” Nancy seethed. She stood up so fast that her chair nearly toppled over. She stalked from the room, expecting her father to follow.

  To Janie’s shame, he got up, dropped a few bills on the table and went after her, muttering something about letting her calm down.

  Makenna sagged against her seat and began to cry.

  Janie took her hand and squeezed it once more, and waited. She wasn’t sure what for. She thought she was done with waiting, but here she was, feeling like a child again. Just… waiting.

  ✽✽✽

  Janie put Makenna in a cab back to the townhouse and gave her the spare key and the alarm code in case Angel was sleeping or out, though the latter wasn’t very likely. She made her way back to the office, the box containing her barely touched salad in hand. She stopped at the restroom before heading back to her desk and immediately tossed the box in the trash.

  It was wasteful, but the thought of eating that salad made her physically ill. She washed her hands at the sink and looked up into the mirror.

  As much as she told herself that Nancy had no power over her any more, her words at lunch had unleashed an avalanche of memories. Snippets of conversations kept intruding until it was all she could hear.

  “Do you really need that cake?... Why don’t you have the salad?.... You need to study harder… Why don’t you have more friends?... Can’t you just try harder?...I don’t think you have the right figure for those jeans, do you?... If you lost a little weight you might have a date for prom… Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in something with sleeves?... A two-piece? Really?... If you just skipped lunch… Maybe if you exercised more…
Have you tried...

  Janie was breathing heavy and she could feel the tears stinging her eyes. She tried to shake off the years of memories, the years of being told in a million different ways that she wasn’t good enough, but she couldn’t rid herself of that voice in the back of her head.

  That voice, Nancy’s voice, had been haunting her all her life. It told her she was fat. It told her she was stupid. It told her she was lazy. It told her she was unlovable, and no one would ever want her.

  And there was nothing to drown it out. Where another voice should have been there to tell her she was loved, she was beautiful, she was smart, there was just… silence. Nancy had spent years tearing her apart and her father had let her. He’d said nothing, and his silence spoke volumes.

  Even today, when Nancy’s hostility had been blatant, he’d still said nothing. He’d done nothing.

  Janie found herself lurching toward the stall. She tried to stop herself. Tried to remind herself of all the things she liked about herself- all the things Bonnie had helped her discover over they years- but none of it was loud enough to be heard over that voice.

  She locked the stall door, bent over the toilet and jammed a finger in her mouth. She gagged, but nothing happened. She did it again, and again, until she finally threw up.

  She gasped in relief. For a few seconds she felt euphoric. The lead in her stomach was gone and she felt lighter. The voice was quiet for a moment.

  By the time she straightened and went back to the sink to rinse her mouth and wash her hands, the feeling was gone. Shame flooded her. It had been four years and three months since she’d purged, and now the counter was back at zero.

  She straightened her clothes, dried her mouth and hands and reapplied her lipstick. She went back to her desk and sat down, a neutral expression on her face. She just needed to get through the afternoon and then she could go home and call Bonnie and talk it through.

  You’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.

  She repeated it to herself over and over again like a mantra. She went through the motions all afternoon but her focus was off. She made mistake after mistake until Alexandra finally asked if she was okay.

  She couldn’t even remember what she’d told her, but whatever it was had satisfied her, at least for the time being. By the time five thirty rolled around and Alexandra told her she should head home, she was so exhausted that she felt nothing.

  Makenna was waiting for her when she got home, still dressed in the same clothes she’d had on at lunch. Janie vaguely registered that Makenna didn’t have any of her own clothes with her, so of course she was still wearing the borrowed dress Janie had given her that morning. It was the only one Janie had that would remotely fit her thinner, taller sister.

  Makenna immediately started talking, but Janie couldn’t even register what she said.

  “Hold on,” Janie said, holding up a hand to forestall any further conversation. “Let me go up and change and I’ll be right down.”

  Makenna muttered a surprised “oh” and nodded, looking a little disconcerted. Janie didn’t bother to reassure her. Instead, she hung up her jacket and trudged upstairs, closing her bedroom door behind her.

  Bonnie didn’t answer so Janie left her a voicemail asking her to call back as soon as she could. She filled up the tub with hot water and tossed in a lavender scented bath bomb, hoping to relax enough for her brain to function again.

  She stripped out her work clothes, tossing them in the hamper on her way to the bathroom, toting her cell phone with her in case Bonnie called while she was in the bath.

  She slipped into the hot water and sighed. She closed her eyes and tried to let the warmth and fragrance of the bath ease her tension with only marginal success.

  Her phone rang and she sloshed water onto the floor reaching to answer it so quickly. But it wasn’t Bonnie. Instead she was greeted with a gravelly baritone.

  “Hey,” Jackson rumbled. A shiver ran up her spine and she told herself it was a chill from being out of the water. She sank back until her shoulders were almost covered, keeping the phone to her ear.

  “Hey,” she replied.

  “What are you doing tonight?” he asked. She could hear street noise behind him and wondered where he was. For a moment she thought maybe he was standing on her doorstep, waiting to surprise her. The idea managed to make her smile.

  “At the moment, I’m taking a bath,” she replied, keeping her tone light.

  “Ah,” he said, stretching out the syllable. “I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he added, but she could hear the smile in his voice. “Should I let you go?”

  She thought about it for a moment. She should say yes, finish her bath, get dressed and go deal with her sister. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t deal with it right now. The spark of excitement she’d felt when she heard Jackson’s voice was the first thing she’d felt in hours. And she wanted to hang on to that a little longer.

  “I don’t have anything else to do,” Janie replied.

  “I suppose not,” he replied with a chuckle..

  “What about you?” she asked. “Aren’t you busy?”

  “I have a few minutes,” he replied and the street noise abruptly stopped.

  “Are you in your car?” she asked, a little disappointed. Surely he wasn’t going to initiate anything dirty while he was sitting in his car.

  “Yup,” he sighed. “On my way into work.”

  “Well, that’s no fun,” she pouted.

  “Why not?” he asked. Janie realized that she’d made a mistake and did her best to cover.

  “Well, work. Work’s no fun,” she said.

  “Mmhmm. And it’s definitely not as fun as being in that bathtub,” he purred.

  “Mmhmm. And certainly not as fun as being in the bathtub with me.”

  “I don’t think anything would be more fun than that,” he said. “All that beautiful smooth skin, all wet and soapy.”

  “Jackson Hunter,” she gasped, playfully. “Are you honestly going to talk dirty to me while you’re driving?”

  “Last time I checked, I can talk and drive at the same time,” he replied.

  “True. But isn’t phone sex more fun when you can… participate?” she asked.

  “Oh, no, baby girl,” he said. “The first time we have sex isn’t going to be on the phone.”

  “So, you were just teasing me, then?” she pouted.

  “No more than you were teasing me,” he laughed.

  “No fair,” she said, but she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face.

  “All’s fair in love and war,” he replied. Her brain got stuck on that one word and stuttered to a stop. As if he sensed her discomfort, he went on, “I just wanted to say hi and see how your day went. I’ll let you finish your bath.”

  “Oh, okay,” she said softly.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow?” he asked, hopefully.

  “Please do,” she replied. And then he was gone.

  Well the bath hadn’t done what she’d expected, but Jackson’s call had helped a lot. She was feeling more relaxed, calmer and more herself. She didn’t think too hard about why that was as she climbed out of the bath and dried off. She threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and braced herself to deal with her sister.

  She did, however, tuck the conversation away to think about later. Maybe when she went to bed that night.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Friday morning, Janie woke up feeling a mixture of anticipation and dread. Jackson said he would call, and she believed that he would. But last night, after talking it over with Makenna, they’d made plans to go and retrieve her clothes from the hotel. She couldn’t live in Janie’s oversized clothes and she didn’t have money to buy new ones.

  They hadn’t talked about the long term, like whether or not Makenna would stay in New York or try to go back to Mississippi and find her own place. She had a few friends she might be able to stay with until she got on her feet, but work was already scarce in the small town they
came from, let alone for a girl with no experience and very few practical skills.

  Janie felt for her. She’d been in almost the same position when she’d hopped on a bus and come to New York City. The only exception being a two year degree in Business Administration. But Janie had decided that she’d do whatever she could to help her sister. She wanted to make up for the time they’d lost and try to build a relationship. She’d gotten used to having basically no family, but it felt nice to have someone, even if it was only temporary.

  She reminded herself that it most likely was only temporary. At some point, Makenna would figure things out and move on with her life and Janie would be alone again. And she’d almost convinced herself that she’d be okay with that. Almost.

  By lunch time, Alexandra’s patience had run out and Janie had recovered enough to give her a brief rundown of how things had panned out at lunch.

  “What a bitch,” Alexandra said when Janie had finished her story.

  “I know.” Janie nodded.

  “I mean, seriously? What is this, 1955?” Alexandra snorted. “She really thinks Makenna’s only other option is to marry rich? What bullshit.”

  “I know.” Janie nodded again.

  “And why didn’t your dad stick up for either one of you? Why does he let her talk to you like that?” Alexandra practically shouted.

  Janie shrugged. She understood why Alexandra was so bewildered by his behavior. Alexandra’s father adored her. He would never let anyone treat her badly. But Janie had stopped expecting a normal reaction from her father a long time ago.

  “I’m so sorry your family is so psycho,” Alexandra said, shaking her head. It stung a little, and Janie finally completely understood why Alexandra had been so reluctant to talk about her past. Even knowing that Alexandra didn’t pity her, those words still rubbed her the wrong way.

  “Hey,” Janie began, clearing her throat. “I’m sorry I reacted the way I did when you finally told me about everything last year. It wasn’t fair of me to be upset that you hadn’t told me. I get it.”

  “You weren’t totally wrong,” Alexandra sighed. “I mean, my thought process about the whole thing was totally wrong, but it was important to me to control the narrative, so to speak.”